Born under spiritual attack
I was born to in Durban South Africa. Even before my birth there was big problems in our house with my parent’s relationship. There was big amounts of anger, shouting and fear. I wasn’t physically abused, it was the fear, anger and hatred in the house that devastating.
When I was in my mother’s womb, I did not wanted to ‘come out’ - I was quite a few weeks ‘late’ - later in life God brought it to my memory how when I was in my mother’s womb; He came to me and said: ‘You have to be born now’
When I was a born, I was born with a spirit of fear. As a baby no one could touch me, I would go into screams and being uncontrollable, having fits of rage. My parents took me to doctors, specialist and pediatrist but none could help.
One day my mother took me to an evangelist, who was preaching in Durban and stood with me in a que to be prayed for, the evangelist prayed for her. She said she felt like a lightning bolt went through her, from that day on. I was healed.
I was only a few years old when we moved to our family farm between Amersfoort and Swaziland(where the Heyshope dam is now) as a 5 year old I really enjoyed living on the farm. Playing in the stream, in the maize heaps when the harvest was done, in the wool bags when the sheep was sworn. Riding on the tractors. It was the world I new. I didn’t know that people speak other languages like ‘English’ and that things like shops existed.
My grandfather at a very late age in his life became born again and got involved in doing stuff for God from the farm. He was quite rich and funded a few church buildings. He also had church camps on our farm. I remember laying awake in my grandparents house listening to the recordings they listen to, testimonies of people who received deliverance from Satans clutches.
Unfortunately my parents relationship came to an end and then divorced. My mother, sister, brother and me moved to a town called Middelburg and moved into a 2 bedroom flat while my mother took a secreterial job.
At first it was very exciting, we where away from the conflict with my father. But not to much time past before I mother married another divorced man. He turned out to be an alcoholic. He abused us alot by giving us by giving us ‘hiddings’ us for even the smallest trespass in his eyes. My mother was determined to make the marriage work and tried to stick with him for almost 10 years.
In this time I went through much depression, fear, anger. My real father was absent and my mother was busy with her life. I struggled at school and always felt like an ‘outsider’ since every one else had what seemed like a normal mum and dad. This I realised now was just Satans way of accusing me. Lying to me.
At the age of 16 I was inspired by a christian teacher. Even before I met her or spoke to her properly. I saw the light of God in her. I made the decision that I want to be a ‘better’ person and follow God like she did. I started reading 2 chapters of the bible every day. I was more out of duty then anythings else.
But who would have guessed that the Word of God is really living? And that you can’t expose yourself to it without being changed? It started growing inside of me.
One day I was on holiday and swimming through a river, the river was big and it was more or less at the point where the river meets the sea. I was not aware that spesifically at this point there are a lot of sharks and crocodiles.
Once crossed the river, I walked around a bit but then I decided to cross back, but at this point the tide in the sea receded which meant the river was now in full flood flooding into the sea. I jumped quite high up in the stream and swim with all my might across the very fast moving water to reach the other side before being swept into the sea.
As I was swimming I prayed: ‘Please God help me, if I survive today, I will serve You’
Miraculously I survived. But soon forgot my promise. God did not.
One night I prayed and said to God that He must speak to me, if He didn’t I was going to run away and live somewhere in the wilderness. ( I loved nature and prided myself for being able to survive endlessly with the bare necessities) and loved the idea of living isolated somewhere alone in nature.
I opened up my bible and the words in Jeremiah 1 burned into my mind.
4 The word of the Lord came to me, saying,
5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
6 “Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”
7 But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.
At this time, God spoke to me in an audible voice, the room was filled with His presence and it was like waves of love and peace washing over me. He said to me that I have to empty myself (like a empty bowl) so that He could fill me. I was kneeling down, He asked me to stand up.
After this experience I developed an unsatiable thirst for the Bible. Used to read the bible in the bath, read through the New Testament, put new warm bath water in and read it again. Some people I know got saved just because the saw the light of God radiating from me.
I joined the christian group at school and grew spiritually very fast. I went on many mission groups and did missionary work among my friends in school, Muslims, Hindus and African communities.
Since then God has used me, to speak propheties that burn like fire in my mind. The heal the sick, I have been used by God to drive out demons from many, many people. I have personally lead countless individuals to Jesus. I have felt the power of God flowing like lightning bolt electricity through me when He deals with demons. I have experience the awsome power of God, many many times. There is nothing better than His pesence.
Yet, I am human, and at times gave in to deception and temptation. There has been times where Satan, has got me under with depression, sin, lies. Where I am ashamed to say, I compromised like the biggest sinner on earth. Because of my sins, I have missed out alot of the blessings of God. I missed out of the ‘best’ God has for me. It is true you reap what you sow, when you sow sin, you reap bitter, bitter fruit.
But one thing I have learned is that God is 100% faithful, whenever I turn to Him, He is always there to help me in my time of need.